In his book, A Healing Wisdom of Africa, Malidoma Patrice Some’ tells an interesting story. In his African tribe, when a woman is pregnant, all of the people in the village get excited. They begin asking questions like:

Why is this child being sent to us at this time?
What do we need that this child is bringing?

It is presumed, by the people, that the child is coming directly from God and that the child and the tribe will be totally interconnected. The child will have gifts the people need and the people’s role is to affirm the child’s gifts and to provide the child with experiences to help it develop those gifts.

This is similar to the metaphor given us by our Christian Scriptures: We are the Body of Christ. All of us together make up that Body. All of us have special gifts we are to use in the interests of all of the people.

In Some’s tribe, an elder priest gathers the people and the pregnant woman together. He hypnotizes the woman and asks the baby to speak through its mother’s mouth. They then ask the unborn baby:

Why are you coming into the world?
What work do you intend to do?
What is your purpose – your God-given purpose?

When the child is born, it is then given a name that reflects its purpose in the tribe. And the reciprocal relationship between the child and the community is established and fostered.

We are told, as children, that our purpose is to know, love and serve God in this world and to be happy with God forever in the next. The way that we serve God in this world is to live out the purpose God has given us.

When Joe was ill, I thought about Some’s story and about some of Joe’s life experiences, trying to understand what might have been his God-given purpose in life.

I was almost five when Joe came into this world. He was born in our home on first street, weighed a whopping ten pounds and had to share his birth day with the wedding of Aunt Ann and Uncle Aurelius. Dad was in the wedding party so he was not home to participate in Joe’s birth.

Gene, our oldest brother, was 6 ½ when Joe was born. When he first saw Joe, Gene said, “Well, he’s nice but where is he going to sleep?”

When Joe was somewhat less than a year old – I don’t remember the occasion, but Mom, Dad and Grandma Nienstead – mom’s mother – made a pit in the basement and roasted part of a pig. I can still see Mom and Dad’s friends, Butch, Sandy and Teresa Nowak, having a great time at the luau while Joe stood holding to the bars of his crib, his body shaking with whooping cough.

I wonder if these experiences had an influence on Joe’s personality?
Although he had many gifts, he never seemed to have a need to draw attention to himself.

During his early years, Jay was the name we called him. When he came home from his first day of kindergarten, he made this announcement: “My name is Joseph.” So we dropped the Jay and called him Joe. This was probably the be-ginning of his taking responsibility for his own decisions.

Almost from this day forward, Joe knew who he was and developed a bit of a stubborn streak. In his adult years, workers under his supervision at the greenhouse referred to him as the “red rooster,” as in “better get back to work. Here comes the red rooster.”

Joe greatly disliked going to doctors. While in the hospital this last time, he kept telling Jeannie to take him home. When she told him he had to get well first, Joe told the nurse, “Jeannie and Nancy are really bull headed,” probably project-ting his own stubbornness onto them.

When I reflect on Joe’s gifts, I think of him as being:

a. genuine and down-to-earth: He never pretended to be someone he wasn’t. He disliked dressing up – disliked wearing a suit. He was a “what you see is what you get” type of person. He found it easy to laugh at himself.

b. stability and faithfulness: Joe loved and was faithful to his family, his church, the Saint Louis Cardinals, his friends, the Knights of Columbus, Sacred Heart School, and Pana. He liked to travel but he lived in Pana all of his life.

c. strong sense of responsibility: Joe held down as many jobs as he needed in order to support his family. He worked in the greenhouse, catered meals, mowed lawns and operated several apartments. When he said he would take responsibility for something, he never faltered.

d. outgoing and made friends easily: Once you were his friend, you were his friend forever…and he would do anything for you.

e. loved cooking, gardening and providing meals for people. He was nour-ished as he worked and received a sense of accomplishment and pride in the process of working – not just in getting the job done.

f. zest for life: Living was a joy for Joe. He lived life to the fullest and tried to help others live joyfully too.

For Joe and Jeannie’s 25th wedding anniversary, they made a train trip across the country and stopped overnight in New Orleans where I was stationed at the time. We went to a big farmer’s market near the French Quarter and Joe was in the height of his glory with the produce there. He bought a huge string of Vidalia Onions and carried them with him on the train back to Pana.

Looking at all of Joe’s gifts, I suspect his God-given purpose on earth was to create opportunities for people (his family and friends, his church, this city) to come together and enjoy life as much as he enjoyed it. He wanted everyone to savor the joy in being alive and he did a great job of fulfilling that purpose.

Probably the best thing Joe ever did was to fall in love with and to marry Jeannie. She was the most faithful spouse a person could ever have. I marvel at how she spent 7 nights and 8 days at Joe’s bedside in Decatur. She deserves a tremendous amount of thanks for her faithfulness and dedication.

In Some’s book about Africa that I cited in the beginning, the author tells about his grandfather’s last days. The old man said to the author’s father, “I have to go now but, from where I’ll be, I’ll be more useful to you than if I stay here.”

That’s another way of saying what our Catholic Liturgy says, “Life is changed, not taken away.” Death is not a separation but a move to a higher form of connectedness with God, with family and friends and with the entire people of God.

I suspect that Joe is bi-locating right now, i.e. being in two places at the same time. I think he is here with us, probably saying “be sure you have a great time and that you let each other know that you love them.” But he’s probably coordinating a big banquet in heaven at the same time and I imagine there will be nothing but home grown foods there with lots of garlic and Vidalia onions.